Oddly Specific Questions

I want to know everything.

And that includes everything about a certain person. Doesn’t matter if you’re one of my besties or the friend of a friend that I’ve been left alone with until the mutual friend comes back and we’re just standing there awkwardly. I will always be interested in what you have to say about a vast amount of topics.

I satisfy this curiosity by having random questions on hand to spark these conversations. Some regulars include “What is your favourite tree?” and  “What is your ideal ugly sweater design?” and also “What store would you live in for a week?”.

I like when people really put thought into their answers and make it a personal thing instead of just giving me a look and shrugging some easy answer. It’s my way of getting to know who the person is through what kinds of things they think about. Like for the tree one, I legitimately have a top 3 so you know I like nature and lists for starters. Also people that clarify the questions even further gives me even more insight to who they are and how they think. For example, with my last question, someone who thinks more logically than impulsively might ask if they can bring anything while they’re living there or if it’s some weird type of camping where you have to survive off what’s there already.

It’s a really great way to simultaneously break the ice for what they’re getting into when being my friend/acquaintance since weird is my bread and butter while also fast tracking the learning about each other phase. I can find out what you’re doing in university later, let’s talk about which one you think is more gross: worms, snakes or spiders.

I know my answers and what it probably says about me and I’m always ready to give them if my conversational partner decides to bounce it back to me. (In this scenario: 1) Aspen, Willow, Birch, 2) Yellow, orange and purple with hot dogs and teabags and a pretentious quote and 3) IKEA)

If we get all psychoanalyze-y here, I’m pretty fairly certain that the reason my questions are so specific, as in they can usually be answer in one word or sentence, is because that’s the kind of question I like answer. The open ended ones are too broad and I never know what to say and I assume the other person doesn’t really care anyway so what’s the point. When I’m given specific questions, then I know exactly what is being asked of me and I know they want that information. It’s a win-win!

Also would you rather have a conversation about flying squirrels versus regular squirrels or about what you’re thinking of doing with your life once you graduate.

Reverse Procrastination

While I was shirking my responsibilities, discovering new corners of the internet to get lost in, I had a novel idea.

I’m pretty sure everyone in the universe experiences the phenomenon where when you really need to get something done but there’s still enough of a window that you’re not in last minute panic mode it seems like absolutely everything else is way more interesting. I find that things are more relatable on tumblr, the click bait on facebook is much more enticing and my room is way too messy to continue this way. Every activity, be it learning how to lip read or discovering some new music, is ten times more exciting than the actual thing that you are obligated to do.

I know I myself have tried the method of inducing that last minute panic earlier than it actually would come by giving myself random deadlines but it’s so easy to pretend you didn’t see the clock turn 6pm or something.

So this brainwave that I had incorporates this concept and attempts to transform it into something useful for productivity rather than detracting from it.

If you rig it right, somehow, you need to trick yourself into thinking that the work you have to do is a distraction from your real distractions.

Confused? I would be too.

What I’m trying to get at is turning the tables on yourself. Open twitter and give yourself a deadline to write a fantastic and retweet worth blurb and pretend like you are not allowed to do anything until that happens. Then, in another tab, have the research on solar panels that you’ve been trying to do all afternoon just sitting there and see what happens.

Obviously I haven’t actually tried this and there is the obvious pitfall that you could open an entirely different tab with a quiz on what famous internet cat you are (is that a thing?? you never know… And there is!!) BUT it’s an idea is all I’m saying. And as someone that actually needs to be researching solar panels right now, I have written two blog posts in a row so at least I was slightly productive with this technique…

Try this and tell me your findings, fellow internet scientist/procrastinators, whichever you identify with most!

I couldn't resist
I couldn’t resist

New Theme

I wanted a better font, pretty much. My requirements were that I needed a sidebar and the colour blue needed to be around.

Voila, what do you think of the transition? I miss the cuter vibe and the blue everywhere but readability of the font really didn’t work for my mostly-text blog. Apparently I’m into having the title in capslock though…

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Holding My Cat’s Paw: A Saga

I love my cats.

I love them so much and it’s common knowledge that cats are very selective with when they’re going to show you some affection back which, for some people, is off-putting, but it just makes me even more excited when it happens.

One thing I know my cats aren’t into is letting you touch/hold/pet their paws but of course I like to see what I can get away with.

Today, my cat Oreo was in a super cuddly and purring mood (she’s chilling beside me completely relaxed and blissful) and we got the hand-holding going on. Of course, I had to record it for posterity so here you go:

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she’s pretending she doesn’t notice while I’m in the corner elated
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she’s happy too, I promise
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the cutest lil eye contact that ever could be
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can she get any more adorable

Dinner Conversation

Mom: My work is going to be doing some realigning.

Sister: Oh! Are they going to rearrange the cubicles and sort everyone by hair colour so that when you look at it from the top, it’s a picture of your CEO?

Mom: No……………….

I really love my family.

An Ode To THOSE Toilet Paper Dispensers

FYI, if you came here expecting poetry and prose, you will be sad, but I bring you sarcasm and run on sentences, which may or may not be better.

On to the story.

So you’re in a public place and you need to pee so naturally you find a washroom. We’re not going to go into every detail

the real MVP
the real MVP

but at some point you gotta get your pants out of the way. The thing is, I keep my phone in my back pocket and that’s not a good location for it when it’s so near to water, right?

The logical thing to do in this instance is take it out and put it on the nearest available surface: the toilet paper dispenser. They come in all shapes and sizes, there’s the big round ones, there’s the smaller slanted ones and then, there’s those ones. The ones with a flat top.

Do you know how annoying it is to have to balance a phone on something circular or to have to keep an eye on it while it slowly slides closer to the edge? A lot of you probably do so you also know how wonderful it is to get a flat-topped lid.

You can pee in confidence and without worry about your phone!

It’s the little things in life, isn’t it.

Top 10 Things To Do With A Onesie

This is going to be utter nonsense so buckle up and enjoy the ride!

Onesies are an item of clothing that have become more and more popular in recent years due to their funny look and extreme comfort! But who says all you have to do is wear the thing?? This is so much more to be done with this Thneed-esque ensemble!

1. Wear it as pants with the sleeves tied around your waist. Okay, this isn’t the most out there things to be done and I’m betting a lot of you have already discovered the joy of fuzzy warmth covering your legs PLUS the feel of a lumberjack sweater wrapped around your middle. This way you can wear a tshirt on your top half instead of having long sleeves!

2. Wear it as per usual, but at a fancy event. This time, don’t change up the outfit, change up the scenery. You’ll probably get labelled as the quirky kid or at least get some strange looks but those are so fun to get when you really don’t care what others are actually thinking of you. If you want, you can do this for science and write down reactions and words people have about your situation.

3. Fill it with stuff because it would feel cool. Works even better if you have the footie variety. But if you have some random markers or fake flowers or whatever floats your boat, just dump it in the top and shake around until it makes its way to the bottom. Or whatever. Do what you want.

4. Put it on straight out of the dryer. It’s like a full body hug. Except without all the awkwardness of another human being. (Human being hugs are quite amazing though)

5. Pretend it’s a thneed and make up weird uses for it. Kind of already described it as such but you have to admit the resemblance is pretty close. SO why not wrap it around your head as some sort of sun hat or throw it across one shoulder in a sort of sash. There’s leg holes and arm holes that can be put on the wrong places. You could make a whole fashion event out of it and have people rate each other on creativity and style. Also, there’s the important part where you memorize and perform the song from The Lorax.

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6. Eat lots of food and watch as the onesie hides it from everyone! Seriously, those things aren’t form-fitting at all so you can get your eating game on and enjoy that food baby while wearing this thing.

7. Get together with friends and climb a tall wall with them. Keep in mind that in this scenario you aren’t actually wearing the onesies. It just sounds like a cool adventure to grab some people and descend down or ascend up an obstacle by using what materials you have on hand (in the case, the 7 onesies y’all brought specifically to do this but that’s just a minor detail) and actually accomplish something that’s probably quite hard. Team building! Looking ridiculous in public! What’s not to like!

8. Use it as a body double. More on that later.

9. Use it for costumes. There’s probably a whole bunch of costumes that can come from adding a few frills to a onesie. You choose the colour and then anything goes! Tails, ears, pins sequins and more; the whole lot can be added with some easy sewing or hot gluing and voila!

10. Stand on a heater. The kind that blows hot air. If you can follow my train of thought, you’ll see this ending in head being blown directly up through your leg holes and just pillowing around you and keeping you the toastiest you’ve ever been. The best situation to remedy being up too early on a winter morning. Or eating ice cream even though the temperature is not optimal for eating ice cream. You do you.

So. There you have it. My top 10 things to do with a onesie. Nevermind that I thought of the title first then had to come up with 10 things to fill the list up with, I think it turned out pretty well. These could actually be quite tame compared to what some people are willing to do. So, in the comments, let me know if you’re a fan of any of these ideas or you’ve cooked up a few fantastic ones yourself.

Uncertain

Double and triple checking everything is a reality for me.

I literally don’t accept what I think I know at face value. I can read a recipe or maybe the solution to a math problem and then when I’m using the information I just read, I second guess if I actually read it right. Like it literally just entered my brain so I haven’t had time to forget it I just don’t believe I know it for some reason. Only 0.02% of the time did I actually get it wrong because I simply misread it but it doesn’t happen as often as it would need to for me to be this paranoid.

Another time where this situation happened that was really bad was when I got on the bus with two of my friends to go to the movies and I was the only one who knew the way. I have done this route hundreds of times (okay a little less but still I know my stuff) but I still had a minor panic attack where my chest clenched up about halfway through because I was worried that we got on in the wrong direction or had missed the theatre. Everything was fine, of course, but it left me wondering why in the world I kept doubting myself like this.

What is self confidence, who knows, I don’t have it…

You can share similar experiences in the comments if you have them!

Smek For President

The first answer to any of those “what person dead or alive would you want to have dinner with” questions is Adam Rex.

smekforpresidentHe’s the author and illustrator to many a book, including my all time favouriteThe True Meaning of Smekday.

We’ll get into exactly why that is in a later post so that I can put all my focus into converting you into a major fan also but the point of this post is to celebrate and anticipate!

After 8 long years, there is now a sequel. The first book was a standalone, the ending was satisfying (actually it was a lot more than that) so it’s not like we’ve been dying over a cliffhanger for the past couple years but it excites me to no end that there will be more of an alien named J.Lo and a girl named Tip in a post-alien invasion world that will apparently include a presidential campaign but I know nothing because I haven’t even read the description I just want to go in blind and be amazed.

that was one very extremely long run on sentence

Things I Hope To See In The Sequel:

– more boovish history

– comics

– Gratuity and her mom

– J.Lo not understanding normal human things

– J.Lo’s horrible grammar

– how the aliens have integrated themselves into our world

The novel came out February 10th so there is absolutely no reason as to why I am not reading it right now. That makes me a little upset. Not sure if I should just go out and buy it or wait for the 8 people in line ahead of me at the library to hurry up and finish…

If you guys are fans of Adam Rex’s work, let me know so we can discuss at length how awesome these books are!!

Late Excuse

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You don’t even know how much I relate to this.

I am chronically late and even though it stresses me out it will always always happen.

I watch the clock and have a mental list of things I need to have ready before I go but somehow there’s always a mad rush to grab everything I need for school or going to a friends house and like 4 clementines in my pocket because I never got the chance to eat. Without fail.

One way I’ve learned to cope is if there’s an actual need to be on time like a job interview, I trick myself into thinking the time is 15 or 30 minutes earlier so that I’m rushing to meet that time (which I will ultimately fail) and end up ahead of the actual schedule.

If anyone has tips or want to make me feel better by saying this is how they are too, the comments are open!