the contents of my brain

A Dream Realized

I can’t believe this actually happened.

So I don’t know how in depth I’m going to go into this story because the little details are sort of personal but the actual point of the story isn’t and I think it’s pretty nifty so y’all are going to hear about it.

It all started after camp 3 or 4 summers ago when one of my friends and I were exchanging snail mail with each other. I didn’t have facebook or a phone at the time and he still wanted to keep in contact post camp adventure so we did the thing and wrote actual letters that we put in the mailbox and it took like a week for it to arrive. You don’t know how amazing instantaneous texting feels like after going through that. But I’m still a huge fan of the classic letter writing.

How To Train Your Dragon came out and instantly became my favourite movie and a paragraph between is was devoted to discussing it’s many amazing features.

When he discovered there was going to be a sequel, we made a promise that we’d go see it with each other in second year university (since the original release date was slated for November) because it wasn’t likely that any of our other friends would actually want to go see an animated movie at that age.

Keep in mind that this was so far back that the second movie was just an idea and nothing was in production and we were already promising to see it in theatres 4 years into the future. So obviously it just faded to the back of our minds and wasn’t something either of us thought of like ever but it was in writing somewhere in my box of received letters.

We saw each other at camp every summer though and went through ups and down in our friendship like there was an 8 month streak where we didn’t speak to each other at all and yeah, the usual stuff that goes down.

In March of this year, I remembered of its existence and texted him out of the blue even though my other friend was like dude that’s really weird and random no one does that and luckily there was a reason we were such good friends because he instantly remembered and was on board with fulfilling our grade 10 promises and that’s the story of how I came to watch How To Train Your Dragon 2 last week!

Alone In A Crowd

Does anyone else feel like that?

A couple days ago, I was packing for camp and now, because time is chronological and things make sense, I am currently at camp. It is one of my favourite places on earth and I’ve been coming for the past 13 years so it’s basically a second home for me.

But, again another thing you may have gleaned from me is that I am a very shy and introverted person. Doesn’t mean I don’t like hanging out with my friends and acquaintances, it just means that I can’t do it for a long time and that every interaction is extremely stressful and nerve-wracking for me. I internalize most of it and just am super aware of all the things and still have a good time but yeah.

The thing is, since everyone is friends with everyone, a lot of mixing it up and moving around happens. I kind of feel like the only one that cares about this but I hate it when people jump around from group to group and have quick conversations that end and disband in the blink of an eye. I can’t keep track of everything and feel like I have control of the situation with all that motion. And it’s not a thing that I should dictate what everyone does but it is a thing that happens that I’m not super comfortable.

Referring to the title, it takes me a little longer than most to readjust when things change and I find myself a little stranded as everyone else seems at ease bustling around. I say seems because a lot of them are probably in the same boat and just covering it up as well. I’ve actually had talks with a few of my friends and they get really anxious and just want the actual camp season to start (this is just the training week we’re in right now) where there’s structure and you know where you need to be and it’s just better. But even thought they feel the same, it just doesn’t look like it in my mind. They can always join a conversation at ease and get people to listen to what they have to say while I feel like I’m just on the outskirts and am too insignificant to pay attention to. The thing where people stop listening to what you’re saying halfway through you saying it is a reality for me.

But I’m probably just adjusting to this type of living right now, after having been basically by myself 9 hours a day for 2 months straight (and loving it) and it will get better soon and I will get to know all the new staff members and soon I’ll be wishing for all the down time we have right now because I’ll be so busy and dead on my feet in the near future.

And I don’t want to just rationalize these feelings away like in the paragraph above this because they are real and it’s okay to have them so I guess this is why I’m writing this. If anyone relates or has tips, I’d be glad to hear of them. Or whatever. The internet is big, it could be a thing that no one reads this and that’s also chill since at least I got it all out in words.

Packing My Bags

Actually, in this moment, I’m taking a break from packing my bags to write this post. So yeah.

I leave for camp tomorrow where I’ll spend the next 10 weeks so I’m basically packing away my life right now. It’s hard work.

There’s always that niggling feeling in the back of my brain that I’m forgetting something vital and sometimes it’s completely validated like that one time I forgot a pillow. BUT my sister is coming down two weeks later so I’m pretty sure I’ll be fine until then.

Another problem I’m facing is overpacking. The rooms aren’t the roomiest and you’re sharing with 4 other people so you all have to fit. But it’s camp so you never know the next chance you’ll get to wash all your clothes or what items might be necessary for games and costumes. What a dilemma.

Of course it always helps to make it more stressful when you’ve procrastinated literally an entire 2 months and are barely finished packing the night before. Great job me.

Oh well, I’m so excited about working at camp all summer it really is the place to be!!!

Shout Out To Owners Of Children

Seriously, though how do you guys do it.

I babysat for 7 hours today and it was so tiring… I’m in that awkward situation where I like kids but I don’t like being around them for much longer than an hour. So yeah.

Don’t get me wrong, the two little girls I hung out with all day arecrawling baby so sweet and were barely any trouble but I was so tired out from thinking of things to do and worrying if we were watching too much TV and keeping an eye on the little one while simultaneously giving the bigger one attention that if I had to do it for anyone longer I would’ve died.

There’s something about the stress of basically having lives in your hands – seriously, if I forgot to close the basement door, the little one would crawl to its death. Because of an open door. Ugh, open door; Frozen was playing in the background the whole time – AND the fact that you can’t have intellectual conversations – I don’t even know how many times I asked her what colour something was – that just makes my brain weep.

So to anyone who works with them or has some of their own and hang out with them and make them happy and safe without the monetary incentive that I had, mad props. You go, bros.

Curious Collections

WIN_20140614_193433This, my dear friends, is a picture of my apple sticker collection.

Yes, I really was that cool. “was” being the key word in that sentence. I have moved on since then. I just found this while cleaning my room.

((I also remember collecting broken coloured pencil leads and literally I had a box for people my class at school to give me theirs))

Phobias

Today is Friday the 13th so let’s talk about things that scare us.

//side note the title looks like I’m trying to spell Tobias but phailed//

I have compiled a list for you of various phobias that do exist out there for you to enjoy:

CLASSIC

Acrophobia - fear of heights

arachnophobia – fear of spiders

Astraphobia – fear of thunder and lightning

Pyrophobia – fear of fire

Claustrophobia – fear of being closed in

Friggatriskaidekaphobia – fear of Friday the 13th

WAIT HOW DOES THAT WORK THEN

Phobophobia – fear of having a phobia

Omphalophobia – fear of navels

Hypnophobia – fear of sleep

Barophobia – fear of gravity. NOT the same as fear of heights

Phagophobia – fear of swallowing

Chronophobia – fear of time and time moving forward

JUST PLAIN MEAN

Aibohphobia – fear of palindromes

hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia – fear of long words

FUNNY

Anatidaephobia – the fictional fear that somewhere, somehow, a duck is watching you

ACTUALLY I KIND OF RELATE

Glossophobia – fear of public speaking

Atychiphobia – fear of failure

Gerascophobia – fear of growing old or aging

Decidophobia – fear of making decisions

Nomophobia – fear of being out of mobile phone contact (comes from no mobile phone, no greek or latin origin here)

SERIOUSLY THAT EXISTS

Mottephobia – fear of butterflies and/or moths

Tetraphobia – fear of the number 4

Halitophobia – fear of bad breath

Globophobia – fear of balloons and/or popping them

Chromophobia – fear of bright colours

AND SOME MORE

Automatonophobia – fear of anything that falsely represents and sentient being, like puppets.

Chaetophobia – fear of hair

Frigohobia – fear of getting cold

Hylophobia – fear of trees, forests of wood

Ombrophobia – fear of rain

Pogonophobia – fear of beards

World Cup

Flashback to grade 5.

It was the end of the school year and halfway through 2006 where, if you count back two sets of four years, the World Cup was happening in Germany.

Now y’all know I’m from Brazil (if not, surprise, I am!) so I cheer hardcore for them during this competition even though I’m not the biggest soccer fan in regular life.

My teacher at the time was from France. Like literally he moved here during the summer. So, obviously he was basically France’s biggest fan. We used to have these morning exercises like pop quizzes for math and stuff and for one of those he actually asked “Who’s going to be the champions for the 2006 World Cup” and the correct answer was France.

So you could imagine it was pretty tense between us. BUT THEN there was anther girl in our class who was from a big Italian family. She loudly proclaimed that Italy was the one that will steal the show.

//I feel like I’m making this more dramatic than it actually is but it’s way more fun like this anyway, right//

There was lots of friendly banter and competition ie my teacher calling both of us out whenever our countries didn’t do too well and us in return doing the same to him. That said, there was a kind of camaraderie between me and the other girl that we just needed to beat the teacher. Like it would suck if our own country didn’t make it but at least we wouldn’t have to suffer through him celebrating France’s victory.

You don’t even know my relief when Italy won. Life is good.

_________________________

In 2014 World Cup news, Brazil played the opening game against Croatia in Sao Paolo and they DOMINATED.

My whole family watched it and man was it stressful. neymarCroatia getting the first goal of the game only thanks to one of the Brazilian players accidentally nudging it into our net. Thankfully, there’s a guy named Neymar who is my new favourite person that got 2 of the 3 goals Brazil scored during the duration of the game!!

There were some sucky calls and everyone was really aggressive and probably stressed but overall it was a great opening game (especially for Brazil fans!) to start out the FIFA 2014 World Cup.


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